How I work & what to expect
The counselling I provide is trauma-informed and grounded in person-centred approaches to therapy, with a pluralistic philosophy. I believe that to heal and make sense of the struggles, pain, loss, and trauma we have faced in our lives, we need to reconnect with our whole selves: the rejected and protective parts of us; the feelings not yet allowed, owned, or understood; the cognitive capacities of our minds to thoughtfully make meaning that can better hold the weight of our lives; and our bodies - the seat of our innate sense of power, purpose, goodness, and direction.
I will support you in this process by being present with you and providing a therapeutic environment that is empathetic, inclusive, accepting, attuned, collaborative, and culturally responsive*. A space where you can be fully seen and heard, and where you retain autonomy over the direction and pace of the work.
This therapeutic relationship, together with a range of additional tools and perspectives (e.g. somatic approaches, parts work, attachment theory, grief work, existential therapy, giftedness, positive disintegration, neurodiversity-affirming practice, rainbow-affirming practice, dream work, shadow work and integration, and psychoeducation), is used collaboratively and flexibly to support your movement toward greater health, wholeness, and freedom.
This often involves developing greater flexibility and adaptability, a stronger sense of authentic living, increased vitality and clarity, a deeper sense of purpose, and, perhaps most importantly, a feeling of being "more myself than I have ever been".
*When I use the term culturally responsive, I am referring to culture in its broadest sense. This includes race, ethnicity, national origin, gender, sex, age, sexual orientation, religion, disability, and the many subcultures, identities, and intersections that shape our experiences.
When I speak of disability, I am also acknowledging the ways in which society can fail to create environments that enable people to participate fully and authentically as themselves.
Areas of interest/ specialty
Working primarily with adults
Neurodivergence (primarily Autism/ASD/Takiwātanga and ADHD/ Aroreretini, but all neurotypes welcome) including high masking non-stereotypical presentations e.g. genderqueer, women, BIPOC, thus noting the strong intersectionality with LGBTQIA+ and Takatāpui which exists and of which I am absolutely affirming, inclusive, and an ally
Anxiety and depression, including existential angst and depression
Anger
Trauma
Grief, change, transition, and loss
Existential concerns (death, freedom, responsibility, meaning)
Existential, quarter, and midlife-crises
Giftedness/2e/multi-exceptionality and multipotentialites
Positive Disintegration/ TPD Dabrowski’s theory including overexcitabilities/superexitabilities
Jungian psychology and individuation
Christian disaffiliation experiences
Atheism
Spirituality and secular spirituality
Relationship struggles - intimate, friendship, all manner of human relationships
Different relationship orientations
Identity
Reproductive decision-making, including child-free living, parenthood, and caregiving
Ageing parents, including Alzheimer's/Dementia
Health & Disability, complex chronic illness, and the intersection between body-mind and mind-body, as I believe we are one being and everything intersects with each other
Deconstructing normativity and finding authenticity
My work is underpinned by Te Tiriti o Waitangi (Toitū Te Tiriti!) and the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC) Code of Ethics.
What to expect
How my clients experience me
My clients frequently describe my way of working as different from other counselling they have previously received. What they often mean by this is that earlier therapy felt more surface-level, focused on techniques or strategies that did not fully explore the underlying patterns or deeper context of their distress. In contrast, they often describe feeling deeply understood in our work together, as though I am able to “get” them in a way that feels both accurate and compassionate, and that I can integrate knowledge and insight in a way that is attuned and meaningful.
Clients often say that this is the place where they can truly think their thoughts and make sense of their feelings.
They describe experiencing a magical feeling of making connections they had not seen before, and noticing that long-standing difficulties begin to loosen or shift in their impact, even when external life circumstances remain largely unchanged.
Over time, clients tend to come to know themselves more deeply. They begin to understand the underlying roots and patterns behind their difficulties, and often leave feeling freer, more vital, more connected, and more empowered than they have felt in years - or sometimes in their entire lives.
What you can expect - from me
Excellent skill and knowledge
You're in charge of how this goes: the pace, direction and growth process. I will be in charge of creating a supportive healing session environment to facilitate that and will flexibly work with you to keep fine tuning that to your needs
Flexibility to your needs. Divergent out of the box thinking and working
Safety to fidget and stim to your hearts content and do whatever and bring whatever to our sessions that makes you feel safe and regulated
Safety to meander and go 'all over the place' and trust I can hold it all and follow you and bring it back to what matters to you
A root cause approach, I'm something akin to a detective, I follow the 'branch' issue(s) you are presenting with e.g. depression and anxiety, and follow these to their roots so that we can address things in a lasting way
Compassion and gentle challenge
That I can park my biases and hold your beliefs and values with care and respect and hold the complexity of your being with skill and heart
That I will welcome all of your being, from the perspective of 'no bad parts'
Empathy and immense care
Approachability and humility, I will always welcome your feedback and honesty and I know that despite my utmost commitment I will get it wrong sometimes and so I welcome opportunities to say sorry and repair relational ruptures between us in therapy, I want to know so that I can do better, you deserve that
That I will be committed to your healing and growth
What you can expect - for yourself
That it will often get harder before it gets easier. Disintegration is an opportunity to integrate at higher levels of wholeness and understanding. During this I will hold the hope for you till you can hold it for yourself.
Tiredness. It is exhausting facing the stuff in your life and past and doing healing work, but we will build self care practices and work at your pace to make this manageable
Disruption. This work will disrupt your life, because it's about moving to authenticity. Expect changes in your relationships, how you see the world, possibly how you see your work, how you see yourself, your values and so on. Counsellors have been referred to as ‘midwives to a new personality’ to describe that something transformative happens, and like child birth it is painful but also incredible because a new you is born
Consciousness. You will become more conscious and 'awake' to yourself, to life, to what matters to you, and become more understanding of it all
Your commitment to this path and applying what you learn will increase your rate of change and healing
It won’t be easy because growth is hard, but it is the best and most rewarding work and money you will invest in yourself. If you are willing to persevere you will reap the rewards of an authentic life and true freedom
You won't regret doing work like this... because who will ever regret becoming themselves?
What you won’t find working with me
Bandaid type measures
That I will try to 'fix you’
Arrogance (except this website where I have to inspire you to see me!)
Judgement
Defensiveness or gaslighting
Re‑traumatisation. You won’t be asked to re‑live or re‑tell traumatic experiences in ways that feel overwhelming. Instead, our focus is on supporting healing and the impacts you’re living with now.
Obsession with the past. We aren’t going to wade through your childhood 'just because'. If we do it’ll be because it is impacting your present and ability to move forward, so we will go there with purpose only in so far as we need to heal the stuff there to move on
Lots of homework
Hard-core/rigid structure
Techniques galore
'Doing therapy' to you
Using clinical jargon you have to decode
A need to take care of me, I am skilled and able to hold the therapy space
Finishing our therapy hour abruptly because it is 'time' if you are not safely put back together
Leaving our work together unchanged
I am feeling excited just articulating all of this to you!
If you are finding this resonating with you, then please contact me here.